Suicide and Your Soul

In the wake of his suicide, I’d planned to write about the life and death of Anthony Bourdain, but my Spirit Guides felt there was little I could do to add to the conversation about this inspiring old soul. Instead, they asked me to write an article about suicide in general.

No soul comes into the world with suicide as some kind of exit strategy.

Which means that, with few exceptions, when it happens, it’s something that derails a person’s life plan.

The impetus to take one’s own life comes from the conscious mind.

The soul is always trying to protect the mind/body/spirit bundle of which it’s a part. It will never urge anyone to take such a drastic course of action.

The means by which someone commits suicide, however, is often related to memories from past lives, and those are carried by the soul.

At a workshop in Canada a few years ago, I told a participant how she’d killed herself in a past life at the age of 19. In that incarnation, she’d been an Italian living in England during World War II. Afraid of being interned as an enemy alien, she took pills an alcohol to end it all.   

Her reaction to hearing about this past-life event seemed out of proportion until she described how she’d spent months in the hospital when she was 19, after attempting suicide with pills and alcohol.

I asked another client, one who’d committed suicide with a gun in a prior incarnation, if he ever thought about shooting himself. He replied, “All the time.”

I’ve often heard people say that someone who commits suicide is selfish, and will have to come back in the future and go through an identical life for the lessons they were supposed to learn. But this is not the case.

From the perspective of those in spirit, a soul whose life plan is terminated prematurely by suicide is deserving of nothing but compassion.

Sometimes life becomes so overwhelming that a person sees no way out, and whether someone takes their own life due to mental illness, grief, loss, loneliness, or injury, the attitude of the spirit world is always one of love and understanding.

For a person who takes their own life, there’s no blame or divine punishment once they get to the other side. The universe is endlessly loving.

If someone takes their own life without affecting anyone else, there’s no karma involved. But that’s rare. And when a suicide causes those left behind to go through terrible spiritual or emotional agony, there will be karmic consequences.

I’ve spoken to several souls who committed suicide. Usually there’s a deep sense of regret, purely because of the consequences of their actions on loved ones. One told me, “The moment I pulled the trigger, I wished I hadn’t.”

In future lifetimes, they can erase the karma by helping those they hurt to successfully complete their soul’s purpose.

When suicide is an impetuous action, a person’s soul will want to avoid the risk of the same thing happening again.

If you killed yourself in a state of high emotion a hundred years ago, your soul will seek to protect you by choosing, as part of your life plan, a desire for Safety.

Having a desire for Safety means you’ll look before you leap. It’s designed to prevent you from taking risks, but it comes with a downside. If you have it, you may become overly cautious.

As my Spirit Guides put it, “You might wait for the train to stop completely instead of jumping on board when it slows down.” And that can cause you to miss opportunities when they come your way.

There are three common signs of having taken your own life in another incarnation. One is the result of using a firearm. The second is from using pills, poison, or some kind of drug.  The third is related to hanging.

If you once shot yourself, you’ll have startle reflex that’s off the charts. And if the bullet entered your head, you may have an entry or exit wound somewhere on you now, and may suffer from headaches.

Ingesting something like cyanide will show up in this life in a curious way. It will cause your soul to go into high alert when it detects foreign substances in your body. It will work overtime preventing anything from crossing the blood/brain barrier.

When this happens, your system will reject medicines, and might prevent even something like aspirin from taking effect. And I can think of at least six clients who have reported having to take higher than normal doses of novocaine at the dentist.

The signs of having died at the end of a rope are discomfort with turtlenecks and tight collars, neck pain, and problems like thyroid issues, tonsillitis, or continual throat clearing.

Your soul and your spirit guides will never support you in committing suicide.

To do so would be contrary to their prime directive. They are, however, compassionate to a degree that’s hard for us to comprehend. To them, the person who ends their life, and those who are affected by them are worthy of nothing but the deepest love.

I hope it helps to know that Anthony Bourdain will have been met on the other side by a welcoming committee of souls who’ve gone before, whose own experiences of life on earth have given them profound compassion for tortured old souls such as himself.


30 replies
  1. John Beach
    John Beach says:

    that is a beautifully written–and wonderful to read– article, Ainsley. Thank you so much for that. Helps me when I think about the death of my mother, knowing that she was received with total love.

  2. Antje
    Antje says:

    Dear Ainslie, This is so insightful, thanks!
    Please, could you also share the consequences of a life taken by jumping down from a high place, such as a building, bridge etc,? That’d be very interesting. Thanks, Antje

  3. James Norton
    James Norton says:

    Excellent and satisfying points Ainslee! This choice by Bourdain has had universal repercussions and is a powerful opportunity for growth if we remain open to it. Thanks for your guidance!

  4. bchancellor
    bchancellor says:

    please consider from abraham hicks in the 1990’s or earlier:

    Abe: All human death is [suicide] because everything is self-created. There are so many things that we’re wanting to give you around this subject. We’re going to go right to the heart of it because we think you’re ready for it, and that is: you still believe that death is a bad thing. It feels like something that shouldn’t have happened and something that if there had been any way that we could have prevented it we would have, and something that has gone wrong. And part of the reason that powerful teachers that are in conscious concert with others like you, who are other powerful teachers — in other words, the reason that someone this young and this vital does something like that is to assist all of you in understanding that there *is not death*.

    There are a number of things — it’s hard for you to hear, but we’re going to really go after this because we think if anyone will hear it you will. We can feel the intensity of your desire and yet you’re not in a place of such closeness to it that you can’t hear what we’re saying.

    …physical beings have treated the subject of death as something not wanted and something inappropriate for so long, and yet you have yourselves in an impossible [position] — this is something every single one of you are going to experience. How do you stand pushing so hard against something that is so inevitable? Do you feel the absurdity of that? And the best way that we can… [help you] hear this maybe in a different way is to say to you: in this Universe that has at this basis only Well-Being, how could something as abhorrent as you think death is even exist…? And what it is, all that what you call death is, is your ultimate pinching yourself off from Source. In other words, it’s sort of like every bad dream you’ve ever had, every negative thought you’ve ever had, every reason that you’ve ever used as your excuse to not allow energy to flow in this moment sort of culminates into the great subject that you all call death. That’s how big and bad and ugly and awful this subject is to you.

    And it’s an interesting thing for us to get our thoughts around because it is something that doesn’t even exist and it is the thing that you all use to not allow yourself to live. In other words, the circle of this complex subject is… (brief pause to search for words) very funny. (Laughter.) It is very funny to get a look at it in this way, you see.

    When you understand that you are eternal beings — in other words, you walk into this room, you all come willingly and yet you have not committed your life to being in this room. In a few hours, you’re going to get up and you’re going to walk out of here and everybody’s going to say that’s just fine. And yet when somebody makes their transition, which is no different than that — they just withdraw their attention from one room and give their attention to another room — you all act like it’s the end of the world. –A.H.

    and also, i think from joshua p warren

    We have so little understanding of the vastness of the system we are involved in. In 35 years of paranormal investigation, I have found no evidence whatsoever that “people” die. If my theories and methods are correct, it is not accurate to say there is a “physical world” and a “spirit world” separated by some sort of “veil.” It is more accurate to say there is the “multi-verse” — infinite numbers of coexistent and interactive worlds with infinite numbers of coexistent and interactive beings.

    You cannot kill your “self” by disconnecting from one particular physical body. The experience of one bodily death has absolutely no affect on us because multiples of our bodies exist in many time lines. We have vast numbers of them, and they are all part of us.

    The loss of one connection to one dimension at any given time is no more serious to the infinite whole of us than a flake of dry skin falling off a finger. You cannot disconnect your self from all the dimensions of the multi-verse. You cannot die. Easy to say, hard to fathom.

  5. Tanaka Portia
    Tanaka Portia says:

    Thank you for this very positive message regarding suicide. Due to mental illness, my brother-in-law used a gun to end his life in a hotel room and that image still haunts me. I find some peace in knowing his soul experienced deep love and compassion on the other side. I am surprised you did not mention Kate Spade, along with Bourdain. From everything I have read, she was a loving, caring and creative soul. I trust she too has entered a state of peace. Thank you again for sharing comforting words from your guides…BTW, it takes my dentist three times as long as the average person (and multiple shots of novocaine) to numb the area they are working on! YIKES!!!

    • Ainslie Macleod
      Ainslie Macleod says:

      Thanks, Portia. I think the Spirit Guides wanted to keep the article from being about any one person because so many people take their lives every day. Multiple shots of novocaine? Sounds like your soul is determined to resist the drug.

  6. Florence
    Florence says:

    Comforting, as always. Thank you for the insight into a very emotional subject. I’m so grateful the universe is such a loving, compassionate place. 💖

  7. Marilyn
    Marilyn says:

    This is a beautiful, resonant article on suicide which brings light integrity and and comfort to an avoided topic. Thank you deeply !

  8. Andrea Gagner
    Andrea Gagner says:

    I also need multiple shots of the stronger Novicain. I hate turtlenecks. Choker necklaces I can handle for a bit. 😓

  9. Joanne Holtby
    Joanne Holtby says:

    Hi Ainslie!
    Thank you for your post but I would like to raise the consideration that there are souls who have come for only a ‘short’ life with the intention to leave ‘early’ whether by self inflicted or other means. My son left by suicide at 22 years. I have come to understand that he had completed his soul’s life plan and that his soul never intended to stay longer.
    I also understand when considering what we call premature death, that the soul has agreed that the loss of their human life, would have the greatest impact on the spiritual growth of all who are left behind.
    Always enjoying and appreciating your work.
    Much love,

    • Ainslie Macleod
      Ainslie Macleod says:

      Hi Joanne, yes, it is something I’ve come across – old souls who don’t feel there’s much more to accomplish. “My job here is done.” They can be suicidal or simply reckless. They don’t seem to be as vested in survival as most. Much love back.

  10. Staci
    Staci says:

    Thank you for this lovely and beautifully written article. I had a dear friend end their life when we were only teenagers. His name was Michael and he was the kindest, most loving, genuine, hospitable person I’ve ever known and I’ve always been certain he was, is an old soul. He always tried to empower others to be their best, saw the best in everyone and did whatever he could to aid in everyone’s happiness. No one knew, he was suffering and the last time I saw him, he gave me the best hug and said he’d see me soon. It was hard and heavy hitting to see Anthony Bourdain and Michael go so I truly appreciate this article and it really does help put my mind and heart at ease. Even more so. 2018 has been a true year of loss but also one immense growth. So grateful to have found you, Ainslie! Although, it seems like I’ve seen you or met you before. Thank you for your incredible contribution to this world!

    • Ainslie Macleod
      Ainslie Macleod says:

      Thank you, Staci. Sometimes this world is a painful place for sensitive old souls to be, and we don’t always see how they suffer. It’s why we should always do our best to help others on their journey. Blessings.

  11. Kim
    Kim says:

    This is a great post. It really touched my soul and as others have said before me, it is comforting, even with the faith that I already knew after death all souls deserve and receive that endless love. I don’t know why I felt this about Anthony’s suicide choice, but I’m going to share it anyway…. I felt like he might have had the feelings that he had completed what he wanted to do here on earth, his mark was made, he maybe reached a point where he felt “homesick” an didn’t want to wait to get back to home where some might be waiting, maybe he had more to do but it was like not necessary…. I kept thinking, what if he truly did what he came to do, didn’t want to wait for death and was overwhelmed and impatient, so ready for it to end, this I sat and pondered for awhile and let the thoughts slip by. I don’t know if that is even a thing a soul can really go through, maybe it can… anything is possible is one saying. Anyway it’s what I oddly felt when I reflected on whatever glimpses he had given us about his life. I have never felt that way before about anyone’s suicide…so I have no clue why those thoughts even came into my mind. Eh, sorry for the ramble, just felt like sharing that strange thought.

  12. Sara VP
    Sara VP says:

    I completely resonate with what you have written about suicide. I wanted to add, however, that sometimes it can be a death exit strategy one learns from, not necessarily one of suicide, that prompts the same triggers in the current life. I died of canned food poisoning and mushrooms, so I chose to be a picky eater this time around so as not to go through that pain ever again if I could help it. I am intolerant of 5 anti-biotics that I know of, my startle reflex has always been off the charts, necklaces and tags in shirts are always a problem, fear of heights, Novocain cannot touch the amount needed to not feel the action going on so gas has to be administered….being hung as a witch and falling to my death also were not suicidal exits, however we know they were planned exits nonetheless. I completely agree the soul is aching and needs love and comfort, not condemnation for being desperate to end the pain. This is victim blaming otherwise. I feel that because of free will, there may be humans using that to the extent that it throws another person’s planned journey way off course and can also create the desperation to commit suicide. Just some things to consider!

  13. anonymous
    anonymous says:

    I remember in a past life, I was abused, it traumatized me greatly, but years later, I fell in love with a guy who loved me back. We broke up at one point. Can’t remember the specifics. Was my first serious relationship. It hurt me so terribly, so I jumped off a building & killed myself. Do you have any advice on how to deal with losing a soulmate? In this life, I’ve never fallen in love with any guy. I’ve dated but briefly lasts, 3 or 4 months was longest I’ve dated anyone. I don’t date often. In my past life I had depression. In this life I have depression again. I still have trouble letting go from that past life heartbreak pain. What should I do?


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