One of the first things I look for in a psychic guidance session is where my client sits on the introvert extrovert spectrum. This is something every soul chooses before coming into an incarnation. Let me explain…

In every soul’s life plan, there are two seemingly paradoxical missions: connection and avoidance. Connection is chosen to make someone a “people person.” Avoidance is selected to ensure that a person seeks solitude and tranquility.

Together I call these two missions “the paradox.”

To be more clear, the introvert extrovert paradox. Most of my clients have it. It means that no matter how outgoing a person may seem, he or she is technically an introvert—someone whose energy is replenished by spending time alone.

Only two of my clients have the mission of avoidance alone. As you might expect, they are unmarried, live alone, and love it like that. Most people have a balance of connection and avoidance, but the stronger the mission of avoidance, the more likely I am to hear things like, “I wish my husband was a long-distance truck driver,” or “I wish he’d never retired.”

I wrote the following article several years ago. It aims to cast light on the subject.

The work whistle blows at the stroke of 5 o’clock. Mahatma Gandhi shuts down the grinder and removes his gloves and safety goggles. His ears ringing from the continual racket of factory machinery, he jumps in his Chevy truck, pops Metallica’s Kill ‘Em All CD into the slot, and joins the traffic on I-5 for the drive home. An hour later, he’s slumped on the couch, the TV blaring, where he stays until it’s time for bed.

Now, what’s wrong with this picture? It’s incongruent, that’s why. We associate Mahatma Gandhi with spirituality. And whether we do it consciously or not, we associate spirituality with tranquility.

Does that mean it’s impossible for factory workers or those whose lives are full of noise to live a spiritual life? No, but it certainly makes it harder to hear the small, still voice of our soul or our spirit guides when we’re surrounded by the constant racket associated with the modern world.

Your soul makes every effort to keep you on the life plan it created for you before you were born. It knows where you’re going, what you need to make you fulfilled, and when you’re straying from the intended path.

Your spirit guides are there, as the name suggests, to guide you and work with you to create the life you want. To take advantage of their support and guidance, it’s essential to break through the barrier of chatter, noise and distraction that fills your conscious mind.

And that brings me to “The Paradox.” There were many times when I first became a psychic that I’d be reading a client and would make the observation that something was a paradox. The spirit guides I work with would, in their pedantic way, tell me that there was no paradox, and then explain why.

Then, in the middle of a session, I discovered a client had, as her over-arching purpose in this life, a mission of Connection and a mission of Avoidance. “There’s your paradox,” my spirit guides announced.

Since that time, I’ve come across more and more people with this contradictory combination. A mission of Connection is extremely common. Most of us have it. It’s your soul’s desire to have intimacy with other souls. It draws us to have relationships, close friends and meaningful conversation. If you have this mission as part of your life plan, it means you’re not meant to be alone.

A mission of Avoidance is quite the opposite. It’s your soul’s desire to ensure that you have as much time as possible in this life to be on your own. A person with this mission generally prefers his or her own company, is drawn to solitary pursuits such as reading and gardening, and when it comes to a relationship, can pretty much take it or leave it.

The Introvert Extrovert Paradox happens when a person’s soul has chosen both missions for this lifetime. When I tell someone they have this dual mission, they recognize it immediately. It almost always elicits a “that explains everything” response. Though the benefits it offers are enormous, it can create huge challenges for those who’ve chosen it.

Last week I spoke to three people who described, in different ways, how the Paradox affects them. The first is fortunate to have found a husband who understands her. “When I tell him I need a week to myself, he calls the boys and arranges a golfing trip,” she said.

The two others didn’t have it so easy. One had found it virtually impossible to be either in or out of a relationship. She told me, “I’d love to be married if we could live in separate homes.” The other had abandoned relationships completely after a six-year marriage that gave her no downtime whatsoever. “I told him before we married that I needed a lot of time on my own,” she said. “He insisted he understood, but he never really did.”

The Paradox is most often chosen by an individual whose life has a spiritual focus, yet also requires them to spend significant time out in the world. They may use it to balance a busy career with their need for reflection, internal processing and, above all, tranquility.

If Gandhi had worked in a steel mill, he might have chosen the Introvert Extrovert Paradox to create balance and avoid cutting himself off from contact with his soul and his spirit guides. And whether or not you have the Paradox yourself, it’s worth bearing in mind that living a more spiritual and connected life begins with creating tranquility so you can actually hear the guidance you’re being offered.

Do you have the Introvert Extrovert Paradox? If you find it a challenging thing, consider a psychic guidance session with Ainslie and his Spirit Guides to help you understand more about how this relates to your life purpose, and how to navigate through the contradiction with grace and ease.

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