One of the first things I look for in a psychic guidance session is where my client sits on the introvert extrovert spectrum. This is something every soul chooses before coming into an incarnation. Let me explain…
In every soul’s life plan, there are two seemingly paradoxical missions: connection and avoidance. Connection is chosen to make someone a “people person.” Avoidance is selected to ensure that a person seeks solitude and tranquility.
Together I call these two missions “the paradox.”
To be more clear, the introvert extrovert paradox. Most of my clients have it. It means that no matter how outgoing a person may seem, he or she is technically an introvert—someone whose energy is replenished by spending time alone.
Only two of my clients have the mission of avoidance alone. As you might expect, they are unmarried, live alone, and love it like that. Most people have a balance of connection and avoidance, but the stronger the mission of avoidance, the more likely I am to hear things like, “I wish my husband was a long-distance truck driver,” or “I wish he’d never retired.”
I wrote the following article several years ago. It aims to cast light on the subject.
The work whistle blows at the stroke of 5 o’clock. Mahatma Gandhi shuts down the grinder and removes his gloves and safety goggles. His ears ringing from the continual racket of factory machinery, he jumps in his Chevy truck, pops Metallica’s Kill ‘Em All CD into the slot, and joins the traffic on I-5 for the drive home. An hour later, he’s slumped on the couch, the TV blaring, where he stays until it’s time for bed.
Now, what’s wrong with this picture? It’s incongruent, that’s why. We associate Mahatma Gandhi with spirituality. And whether we do it consciously or not, we associate spirituality with tranquility.
Does that mean it’s impossible for factory workers or those whose lives are full of noise to live a spiritual life? No, but it certainly makes it harder to hear the small, still voice of our soul or our spirit guides when we’re surrounded by the constant racket associated with the modern world.
Your soul makes every effort to keep you on the life plan it created for you before you were born. It knows where you’re going, what you need to make you fulfilled, and when you’re straying from the intended path.
Your spirit guides are there, as the name suggests, to guide you and work with you to create the life you want. To take advantage of their support and guidance, it’s essential to break through the barrier of chatter, noise and distraction that fills your conscious mind.
And that brings me to “The Paradox.” There were many times when I first became a psychic that I’d be reading a client and would make the observation that something was a paradox. The spirit guides I work with would, in their pedantic way, tell me that there was no paradox, and then explain why.
Then, in the middle of a session, I discovered a client had, as her over-arching purpose in this life, a mission of Connection and a mission of Avoidance. “There’s your paradox,” my spirit guides announced.
Since that time, I’ve come across more and more people with this contradictory combination. A mission of Connection is extremely common. Most of us have it. It’s your soul’s desire to have intimacy with other souls. It draws us to have relationships, close friends and meaningful conversation. If you have this mission as part of your life plan, it means you’re not meant to be alone.
A mission of Avoidance is quite the opposite. It’s your soul’s desire to ensure that you have as much time as possible in this life to be on your own. A person with this mission generally prefers his or her own company, is drawn to solitary pursuits such as reading and gardening, and when it comes to a relationship, can pretty much take it or leave it.
The Introvert Extrovert Paradox happens when a person’s soul has chosen both missions for this lifetime. When I tell someone they have this dual mission, they recognize it immediately. It almost always elicits a “that explains everything” response. Though the benefits it offers are enormous, it can create huge challenges for those who’ve chosen it.
Last week I spoke to three people who described, in different ways, how the Paradox affects them. The first is fortunate to have found a husband who understands her. “When I tell him I need a week to myself, he calls the boys and arranges a golfing trip,” she said.
The two others didn’t have it so easy. One had found it virtually impossible to be either in or out of a relationship. She told me, “I’d love to be married if we could live in separate homes.” The other had abandoned relationships completely after a six-year marriage that gave her no downtime whatsoever. “I told him before we married that I needed a lot of time on my own,” she said. “He insisted he understood, but he never really did.”
The Paradox is most often chosen by an individual whose life has a spiritual focus, yet also requires them to spend significant time out in the world. They may use it to balance a busy career with their need for reflection, internal processing and, above all, tranquility.
If Gandhi had worked in a steel mill, he might have chosen the Introvert Extrovert Paradox to create balance and avoid cutting himself off from contact with his soul and his spirit guides. And whether or not you have the Paradox yourself, it’s worth bearing in mind that living a more spiritual and connected life begins with creating tranquility so you can actually hear the guidance you’re being offered.
Do you have the Introvert Extrovert Paradox? If you find it a challenging thing, consider a psychic guidance session with Ainslie and his Spirit Guides to help you understand more about how this relates to your life purpose, and how to navigate through the contradiction with grace and ease.
Yes! You’ve told me I have this paradox, and it does make so much sense! Definitely an outgoing, social introvert. I can get drained and irritable if I don’t have time to myself too.
Glad to hear this resonates for you, Kristie!
Yes! Same for me. I have called myself an extroverted introvert for a while now. But I do need alone time to recharge. I’m also a triple Gemini which also adds to The Duality theme. I have learned to recognize my need for connection and my need for solitude and work with it consciously. Give myself permission for both. (so to speak)
Wow,i’m so excited to read this.It describes me completely!
But you never hear or read about it.People often label me with being an introvert or having commitment-issues.But i don’t recognize that in myself at all.
I’m actually quite outgoing,make contact easily am not shy(i like to stand on a stage and sing and used to be a dancer) and i can commit to things and people/animals for life.
I do need a lot of time by myself though.Just as you describe,i need a day to recover from a party.It feels like i get so hyper that i need solitude to get back to my peaceful self.
But i do like being with people and communicating.
Thank you for this article.
You’re welcome, Bregje!
I really enjoyed reading this post, Ainslie.
It’s very clarifying. Thank you.
Glad to hear, you’re welcome Nana!
Well I can relate to this! I love being alone but I have 4 children and 5 grand babies that fill up lots of time! Then I go home and recharge in solitude, meditation and reading.
So many of my clients do relate. Glad to hear this resonates for you too, Linda!
That clears that issue up nicely. Thank you! Any chance you are going to write a blog on soul level percentages? I was struck by the precision (particularly the percentage) in which you described the life of Prince Rogers Nelson. Absolutely fantastic article by the way.
Thank you, Teresa! Regarding soul-level percentages, I recently did just that in a class for my SoulWorld Community membership program. We’re opening the doors to new members soon; you might consider joining – https://ainsliemacleod.com/soulworldprogram/
Love this Ainslie! It was fun reading about this very thing– that I live all the time in “soul dialogue.” You did a wonderful job of defining this in soul terms. The paradox of a life driven to share and connect as I am with a necessary component of needing solitude. I wrote something about this on my blog recently in a COMPLETELY different way. But I loved hearing your perspective on this. So true. When you must have both, you know. 🙂
So glad to hear, thanks Aimee!
Thank you, Ainslie, this paradox describes me to a tee! I recently wrote a short story called “The Call of the Lapis Lazuli” and this is exactly what I wrote about without knowing it!
I’ve also just recognized this in some other people I know so the next time they ask for space and time alone, I’ll understand where they’re coming from.
This was very helpful, thank you, Maria
Thank you for letting me know, Maria. I’m happy to be of service!
Before reading “The Instruction” and learning that I too have earmarks of the Paradox Mission, I used to call myself an “AMBIVERT.” At one point I might have felt that the percentages of Connectivity (my extrovert) and Avoidance (my introvert) were 50/50, but the longer I live (this life) the greater the shift toward Avoidance. As you have mentioned to me and other old souls, my “Bullshit Meter” is accutely tuned, and I don’t suffer fools or want to spend an additional second with people trying to BS me. I’d have to say that the shift is about 30/70 now toward Avoidance. Is that typical?
It was interesting to read about having a Mission of Connection AND a Mission of Avoidance. I had. Reading with you in 2009 and that’s what you told me about myself. I’ve had a hard time understanding that. However recently I understand now that it could possibly refer to an individual who has been part of my life for nearly 50 years. There was a very strong connection for many years then avoidance. That was very hard on me. The connection will always be there but I think because of the avoidance things have changed. I don’t know from how you described it that that particular paradox can apply to two individuals. It certainly feels that way in my case.
Hi Patricia, the paradox, missions of connection and avoidance, is more about where you fall on the introvert/extrovert spectrum, but when the avoidance is very strong, it can cause a person to push others away to get the space they need.