Why You’re Never as Powerless as You Think
While preparing for this month’s Soul World class, I was talking with my Spirit Guides about how to approach the theme of spiritual investigations from a place that would empower members. My Guides’ told me to remind them that, “You always have options.”
That got me thinking about a client from some years ago, Lori*, who felt, as she put it, absolutely stuck. Her marriage was supremely unsatisfying, and her job sucked.
I asked her, “What have you done to change things?”
Lori replied, “Nothing. There’s nothing I can do. If I try to talk to my husband, he just yells at me. And I’m never going to get another job the way things are right now.” [This was in 2008 at the height of the financial crisis.]
My Spirit Guides are well aware that we on the Physical Plane have to deal with everyday challenges, and they always want to help us find solutions.
Yet, as they often point out, they can’t wave a magic wand and restore an entire economy to how it once was. They can, however, see options when we’re unable to so much as glimpse the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.
Many of us carry powerlessness from our past-life experiences.
Having been imprisoned or enslaved, even hundreds of years ago, you can still be unable to see the full range of options available to you now.
And with a past-life fear of Inferiority, the result of a life in which you were victimized by someone or something, you can easily slip into a place of victimization now.
Since the purpose of Spirit Guides is, as their name suggests, to guide you, they’ll rarely tell you what to do. You’re here to make your own decisions.
Unfortunately, my client couldn’t make any forward movement because there seemed to be no decision without the potential for disaster.
“If I quit my job,” she said, “I could lose everything. And if I leave my husband, I’ll lose my home.”
The Spirit Guides, however, wanted her to see that there might be other ways. “What do you want in your life?” they asked.
She was silent. After a long pause, she said, “I don’t know.” And so began a conversation about empowerment.
From the Spirit Guides’ perspective, Lori was disempowered because she was stuck in a place of victimization.
If she could escape the invisible chains of powerlessness, she’d find there was a lot she could do to change her circumstances.
“Are you happy in your work?” the Spirit Guides asked.
Lori was unambiguous. “I hate it.”
“Are you fulfilled in your marriage?”
“No,” she said, “It’s not working for me.”
“What’s wrong with the relationship?” I asked.
“He’s totally disrespectful,” Lori said. “If I complain about things, he yells. If I try to talk about how I feel, he makes fun of me. And if I suggest we get a divorce, he tells me that will never happen.”
The Spirit Guides had a solution. Again, it began as a question. “What are your needs?” they asked.
I’ve often joked that you can tell someone has a past-life fear of Inferiority, because if you ask them that question, they look like a deer in the headlights.
Lori was at the other end of the phone, but I could picture her face as she said, “I really don’t know.”
“The first step is to identify your needs,” the Spirit Guides said. And to make life easier, they said, “What are three needs you have in your marriage?”
With a little coaching, Lori saw that three of her most fundamental needs related to the problems she’d identified earlier. “I want to be respected,” she began.
The Spirit Guides corrected her. “You need…” they said.
“I need to be respected. I need to be spoken to kindly. I need to be heard.”
Those three statements became Lori’s mantra, and also formed the basis of a conversation she had a few days later with her husband.
And when we talked again, almost a year later, Lori’s life had changed.
“It wasn’t easy,” she said, “But I kept confronting him, over and over again, telling him he needed to listen to me and respect me. And after one scary outburst, I told him that if he ever raised his voice to control me again, that I’d walk out and go straight to a divorce lawyer!”
Although I had no recollection of this part of the conversation when we first spoke, Lori told me the Spirit Guides had asked her what she was doing to find another job, and when she replied, “Nothing,” they’d said, “Then do something! Remember, you always have options!”
Almost immediately, she’d begun sending out her resume. Three months later, she had a new job.
Whether or not Lori would stay in either her marriage or her new position was not certain, but whatever happened, the choices she would makes would come from a place of empowerment, not victimization.
Lori turned her life around, and the changes began by simply identifying her needs, and recognizing that she had more options than she thought.
These two actions offer so much potential for transformation, it might be difficult to fathom. Maybe because they seem so simple. But as my guides point out again and again, “It’s not rocket science.”
With their guidance, the monthly explorations in my Soul World membership program not only help you better understand who you are and why you’re here, they’re also designed to help empower you and stand up for your rights.
Stepping outside of the victim role takes effort, but the rewards are totally worth it. Remember, you always have options.
*Name changed to respect confidentiality