During the current COVID-19 pandemic, we’re being asked to undertake social distancing as a way of stemming the spread of the disease. For some, this means business as usual; for others, it requires a sacrifice, the extent of which no one will ever understand.

Where you fall on the spectrum between introvert and extrovert is something your soul chose before you were born.

Every soul chooses, as part of its life plan, several missions to work on. You might choose a mission of Exploration to ensure lots of travel and growth. Or a mission of Healing to help you focus on improving the conditions of others.

A soul who has had a series of particularly hectic incarnations, may choose a mission of Avoidance to ensure lots of alone time. One who endured forced isolation in a past life might select a mission of Connection to give it the urge to be around others.

In 20 years of reading people, I’ve only encountered three clients who have a full-on mission of Avoidance. Each of them lives alone and has absolutely no desire or intention of ever having a relationship with someone else. They feel no sense of missing out on anything. They are true introverts.

I have a full-on mission of Connection. I’m the kind of person you might see in the coffee shop writing a blog post. I could do it at home, but I feel more comfortable with other humans around. I’m an extrovert, albeit it a fairly quiet one. Being around people feeds me.

The Paradox

Most of my clients, however, are neither introverts nor extroverts. They have what my spirit guides term “the Paradox.” They call it that because it can seem paradoxical to want to be with people but, at the same time, want plenty of space to be alone. The split between Connection and Avoidance might be 70/30 or 50/50, which means some are more outgoing than others. 70-percent connection means that person is an extrovert, but their 30-percent Avoidance will require them having significant downtime, especially after being in a crowd or at a party.

When it comes to social distancing, having a mission of Connection can be tough. A social media meme I saw encouraged neighbors to check on extroverts like me to make sure we’re coping with the isolation alright. 

Me and the Mrs

As an extrovert married to an introvert, my need for social interaction is enormous compared to hers. If I said to her, “Tonight’s party has been cancelled,” she’d have her jammies on and be curled up on the sofa with a book in a nanosecond, while I’d be getting online to see what else is going on out there.

For 16 years, I’ve met a bunch of friends for dinner every Monday night. With us all social distancing, and the restaurants being closed anyway, I’m organizing a virtual night out for us using Zoom. For extroverts, video platforms like Facetime, Skype, and Zoom are life savers, and allow us the connection we crave. If you’re like me, I encourage you to use the technology to stay in touch.

And if you’re like my wife, Christine, I expect you’re very comfortable with the lack of social interaction. Just remember it’s highly unlikely you’re all Avoidance; you probably have some Connection in there, too. It’s important to make sure your social distancing doesn’t end up with you becoming a hermit. However you connect with others, your soul will be thankful for it.


If you’re feeling the need to connect with others, I invite you to join me and a community of other kindred spirits in the Soul World—my sacred sanctuary for spiritual seekers.


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