This festive article is from December 2013. Is it truly better to give than to receive? With the holidays upon us, no doubt you’ll be doing quite a bit of both. And, given that you’re an older soul, you probably prefer the former to the latter. That’s because, as an older soul, you’ll inevitably have a fear of Loss. It may be a mountain or a molehill, but you can’t avoid having had recent incarnations where loss, life-plan altering loss, occurred. Like one of my clients who lost her grown sons in the Battle of Stalingrad, or another who had her business taken from her while she was in a debtor’s prison, your soul will know what it’s like to be deprived of the people and things you care most about. Now, it will be on a hair trigger when it comes to loss. Your soul might be reluctant to enter into a relationship for fear of losing that person one day. It doesn’t want to repeat the experience any time soon, or until the fear has dissipated. I told a client recently how she lost her baby and ultimately her own life in childbirth a hundred years ago. “And that’s why you never wanted children in this life,” I said. “Oh my God!” she replied. “I never told you if I had children or not, or if I wanted them. But I never wanted children, ever.” “Of course you didn’t,” I told her. I’ve seen the way this works so often I just had to assume that was the case. Strangely, few things trigger a past-life fear of loss like the accumulation of junk. Having lost everything, perhaps many incarnations ago, your soul prefers not to get too attached to material things. “The less I have, the less I have to lose,” it tells itself. So, when you end up with a totally unnecessary piece of junk like a motorized tie rack or a golf club drink dispenser ($49.99 and $89.99 respectively from The Sharper Image), your soul goes, “Thanks!” Then it thinks, “Oh Jeez, what am I supposed to do with this?” Ever been to an estate sale where the entire contents of a house go up for sale? I have. I remember noticing how the Five Tray Food Dehydrator, the WaxVac Ear Cleaner, the Steam-A-Way clothes steamer, and other items that usually come with the words “as seen on TV” on the box, never showed up in the kitchen or bathroom, but always in a box in the garage. We don’t need a fraction of the stuff we’re given at this time of the year. It just adds to our anxiety. My suggestion is this: For every gift you receive, give something away. Or, even better, give some money or time to a charity. Give more than you receive and you’ll feel better about yourself and heal your past-life fear of loss at the same time. This week my daughter dropped her phone down the toilet. Then my son forgot to take his phone out of the back pocket of his jeans before they went into the wash. Big fears of loss triggered in both kids. Just as well Santa’s coming soon. As for me, until Ellen Barkin makes herself available, I ask for nothing. However, if you feel inclined to send me something, I’d be very happy to receive donations for my Malawi Book Project or Kiva. Thank you and Happy Holidays to you! P.S. There are many ways to learn about who you were in your past lives.

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